Love Advice
by X59
Summary: In which Odd makes Ulrich recall the love advice he received from his parents.


"Hey Ulrich," Odd, struck by a random thought, called out as they lied in bed for the night exhausted after the latest Xana attack, "Have you ever thought asking your parents for love advice to help ya get with Yumi?" Odd then blinked as Ulrich eyes seem to glaze over.

* * *

"Mom, dad," Ulrich began and with a deep breath continued, "How did you guys get together and stuff. Like how did dad get you to date him?" His parents looked up from their food as they stared at their slightly blushing son at the dinner table.

His mother took one look at the slight blush and couldn't help inwardly feel a little of sadness at the thought of her little boy growing up. Her thoughts were suddenly ended as her husband spoke, "You were thinking with the wrong head," Gavin Stern started evenly before softly muttering, "why didn't I think it was girl troubles," and then in a louder voice he questioned, "And what did you mean how did I get her to date me?" Gavin Stern said.

"Well…." Ulrich trailed off awkwardly which set his father off. "Ulrich I was the catch of the campus. Girls flocked to me and I never let the little head to the thinking. Furthermore if anyone got anyone to date, it was your mother getting me to date her. I never had romantic trouble." He finished with a smirk.

"You're an idiotic liar," Mariah Stern started with a shake of her head, "Now let go your wounded pride and give your son love advice. No go on," She stated with a wave of her hand, "please demonstrate why you," and to Ulrich's amused shock she actually air quoted, "never had romantic trouble."

Gavin Stern thus subsequently called out by his wife on his bullshit then turned towards his son and matter of factly said, "Son, the important thing to know about women is that they are all insane," He put his hand towards his stunned wife who had began to open her mouth, "You told me to give romantic advice," he declared with a pointed look. Mariah closed her mouth but glared daggers at him.

"Now as I was saying women are insane. They say one thing and mean nothing. They may claim to not want gifts for holidays like Valentine's Day and then get annoyed when you don't get them a gift. Come now have you ever seen contradicting behavior in this girl?" He added after Mariah threw him a look.

Ulrich blinked and thought of Yumi. He thought of her courage, her fighting spirit, her beauty, her annoyance at the immature actions of him and William. He then paused as he recalled her own immaturity in talking about just being friends and then her getting furious about him getting close to Emily. Thus to father's pleased shock and his mother's silent dismay, Ulrich slowly nodded his head.

"Now when it comes to women you have the most important thing is to ask yourself one question; can you handle their insanity? If you feel you can then go—"

"No, that's enough." Mariah interrupted. "Contradicting behavior is not inclusive to females. The most important thing in a relationship is to respect her and for her to respect you. To know each other's boundaries and taking important steps together."

"No sex until—""He's too young to think about sex," "He's a teenage boy, they all think about sex." "Our son is not—"Ulrich felt he was watching tennis match with how they went and felt himself madly blushing at the topic. This of course went noticed causing his parents to stop their minor spat.

"Now as I was saying," Gavin said, "Women are insane and the first step in dating one is wondering or knowing if you can handle their insanity. If you can't then the relationship will die, but if you can then the relationship will continue. When it comes to marriage," and Ulrich couldn't think it possible but he found himself blushing a bit harder at the idea of marriage to Yumi, "before proposing you must embrace the insanity. Once their insanity is embraced then you know she's the one."

With that said Gavin stood and as he picked up his plate stated, "And I'm choosing to sleep on the couch for my back." "That's a good idea," Mariah commented before turned to her son, "We got each other… We both tended to be rather prideful and the debates as we fought to prove our points gave a lot of fire to our friendship and that lead to more. We will get past this issue but sometimes our pride can get the best of us."

"I get that," Ulrich couldn't help but comment as he was still process his dad's blatant attempt at acting as if he was in total control. "And don't worry mom… I'm not going to tell Yumi that I can handle her insanity…. That would just make things worse."

Mariah gave a small sigh of relief and as she stood up she ruffled Ulrich's hair and gave him a kiss on his forehead. "Good call, honey, very good call."

* * *

"No…just…That would just lead to her slapping me or something," Ulrich said as the glazed look faded. Needlessly to say Odd became very intrigued but to his outrage his best friend simply ignored him and fell asleep over answering his questions.

A sigh" Stupid random thoughts," Odd muttered as he thought of school work to help him fade into the land of dreams.


End file.
